Refining

God has been refining me. For the past six months, it seems that God has thrown me situations and circumstances that have been more challenging than I though possible to handle. God loves me, and I am His chosen daughter. He is my king, and He is jealous for me. God is jealous for me, when I choose things that don't honor Him, He gets jealous. Such a mind blowing thought.

God is jealous for me.

I'm not that special, not special enough for the God of the universe to be jealous for. The depth of God's love for me alone, literally blows my mind. In the midst of the challenges I feel that I have faced in the last six months, God has taken something that could have caused me to become very bitter, or just have a terrible attitude, but God has used every situation for His glory and His good and perfect plan.

Just yesterday, came another one of these hard situations. I have been working at SpringHill Day Camps as a counselor this summer, and right off the bat, week one, God handed me a co-counselor who was very challenging, testing my patience and stretching the love I had. I ended up working with him again this week, but he left yesterday, for the rest of the summer. Immediately, I felt relief, another trial gone. But after all my campers had gone home for the day, I was overcome with regret. I could have loved Him more like Jesus loves me, and now he is gone. I let an opportunity to be the mode of Jesus through my fingers, and I didn't care. I took it for granted. Once again, I have some mending to do, and God is continuing to refine me, little by little until the final completion.

This has become my prayer for the summer...

Ephesians 5:15-17: Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.