Refining

God has been refining me. For the past six months, it seems that God has thrown me situations and circumstances that have been more challenging than I though possible to handle. God loves me, and I am His chosen daughter. He is my king, and He is jealous for me. God is jealous for me, when I choose things that don't honor Him, He gets jealous. Such a mind blowing thought.

God is jealous for me.

I'm not that special, not special enough for the God of the universe to be jealous for. The depth of God's love for me alone, literally blows my mind. In the midst of the challenges I feel that I have faced in the last six months, God has taken something that could have caused me to become very bitter, or just have a terrible attitude, but God has used every situation for His glory and His good and perfect plan.

Just yesterday, came another one of these hard situations. I have been working at SpringHill Day Camps as a counselor this summer, and right off the bat, week one, God handed me a co-counselor who was very challenging, testing my patience and stretching the love I had. I ended up working with him again this week, but he left yesterday, for the rest of the summer. Immediately, I felt relief, another trial gone. But after all my campers had gone home for the day, I was overcome with regret. I could have loved Him more like Jesus loves me, and now he is gone. I let an opportunity to be the mode of Jesus through my fingers, and I didn't care. I took it for granted. Once again, I have some mending to do, and God is continuing to refine me, little by little until the final completion.

This has become my prayer for the summer...

Ephesians 5:15-17: Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

I ran a half-marathon?!?!

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 5am, pretty tired and feeling like I could be sick at any moment. I ate a bagel and walked around with every nerve on edge. Yesterday was the day I ran my first half-marathon. For those who have known me for a while, you know this is probably one of the last things I would have ever considered doing, even a year ago. So, needless to say, this was a huge accomplishment for me.

Training for the half-marathon was a lot of work, but luckily I had a lot of extra time on my hands this semester, especially after my senior design expo was finished. But even with all that training and the countless miles I ran, the actual race was a lot harder than I expected. My only goal was to run the whole thing, which I managed, all 13.1 miles, and for that, I am happy, and very, very sore today.

This is my finisher's medal

Land Loss

Today my heart breaks for the Ache community of Kuetuvy. I spent this past January living in this remote jungle community, getting to know the people, falling in love with their simple culture and loving these beautiful people. The Ache have been battling the Paraguayan government for years to rightfully own their ancestral land. After a law that would rule in favor of the Ache passed in the Paraguayan legislature, it was up to the president to either pass the law, or veto it. There was a lot of hope that he would pass the law and the Ache would rightfully own the land where their ancestors had lived for generations. Unfortunately, he vetoed the law, sending the Ache community of Kuetuvy a roller coaster of emotions and mourning. They have hope that one more try will earn them their land, but prayers are needed as they try once more to legally gain the land they have been living on for years.

One of the missionaries we worked with while in Paraguay sent these compelling pictures as the community mourns a huge loss.

The Annual Prairie Burn--A Glorious Day

Every spring Upland, IN burns the Prairie across the street from Taylor University. Every year they send out a campus email inviting us all to come witness this spectacle. I was never interested as an immature freshmen or sophomore. Junior year I somehow missed the email even though I wanted to go, and as a mature and well-informed senior, I was more than prepared today when that email came around. With camera, friends and a dog in tow, we made our way to the science center parking lot, along with half of the Upland residents and students from Taylor. I can't even describe it besides saying that it was an awesome field of fire. Here are some pics, maybe you'll be able to smell the smoke, because I sure can.

Me by the beginnings of the blaze.



Middle



Near the end of the burning

I have failed.

So after going on about how running has become a discipline for me, I have not run in exactly 2 weeks. I have failed. To be fair, I was a little consumed with my senior art show, which was pretty important. My last run was 8 miles, tomorrow we will see how much I can run after a two week break, and with the half-marathon less than a month away, training time is getting serious and every run is going to count.

Anyway, the last two weeks have been crazier than ever getting stuff ready for the show and putting together a portfolio of my best graphic design work form the past 4 years. Yesterday morning I was so nervous I could hardly eat, and the closer we got to the show, it just didn't seem real. The doors opened and people literally flooded in. It was an awesome night with so many friends and so much fun. It was so encouraging having people admire my work. My only regret was in my shoe choice which I am still regretting a day later. Really hot shoes, but they come at a really painful price. Here is a pic of me & the fam with my table/display:

The show will be up until Easter, so come check it out at the Taylor University gallery. There are a lot of talented designers with great work to show off!

Hike Up Those Bloomers, Sally

I've been learning a lot about disciple lately. Spiritual discipline and other life disciplines.

Today I ran 7 miles. I hate running, but for some absurd reason, I signed up to run a half marathon in May, so I clearly have a lot of running to do to get in shape for this crazy thing. Because I hate this running, it has become a discipline for me to lace up my shoes and run three times a week. Doing this though has taught me a lot about discipline and how often we have to do things we just don't want to do.

Obviously I don't have to run, I could just chicken out and quit, but I think that knowing I set this huge goal for myself and not following through on that would be more painful than a 7 mile run. I can do this, even though I hate the process, in the end, when I cross that finish line, I am certain it will be a sweet victory.

I also just finished reading a book by Lauren Winner called Mudhouse Sabbath. It was a very interesting read. Lauren Winner was a Jew who converted to Christianity, and in the book, she writes about some of the spiritual disciplines and practices Jews observe, and how she has tailored those practices to her life as a Christian. I think I appreciated this book more because of the stage of life I am in. I am getting ready to graduate from college, and I have been thinking a lot about what I want my life to look life when I get out into the real, big world. Winner raises a lot of great points and questions I am still trying to figure out. I highly recommend it, especially since I feel that it left me to draw my own conclusions and figure out how I will practice the spiritual disciplines and what they will look like specific to me and my life.

Chow for Puppies

Happy Birthday Jess!!

PS- congrats to Anna F and Andrea F for solving the big blog mystery. This is your shout out. You win.

It's a beautiful Saturday morning and I'm sitting her trying to gear up for a 7 mile run this afternoon. YIKES. I haven't blogged recently, life has been spinning a little out of control with my last Spring Break in the horizon, projects are piling up.

Despite my busy schedule, God has been teaching more than I thought possible in the first month of my last semester. I have been humbled and broken and trying to figure out what all of the things going on in my life mean for me in this moment, but also in the future as I prepare for my next step in life, which at this point I have no idea what that step is, but I am eager to find out. When I think of what I have learned at the center of everything is just how loved I am by the people around me, and this has been a huge source of encouragement and peace in a crazy time.

It's incredible to me that even when people make mistakes, grace is there and love covers all. Love always prevails. My mistakes don't define me, and I am not one 'thing' that I did or didn't do. I am not defined by one thing I did wrong, rather it's the little things that I have done right and the love I have tried to pour into the girls I live with this year that I pray they remember me for when I graduate in May. God is good and I am trusting His plan for me, even though I have no idea what that is or how He is using me, I'm ready for the journey.

Happy Birthday Luke!!

Paraguay buddies 4evar!!!

Tonight I had an audition for Nostalgia Night (a student show at Taylor featuring oldies songs). I was a back-up dancer for "Ice Ice Baby." One of my dreams is to be part of a musical show while I'm at Taylor, and since this is my last semester, the clock is ticking. It was a good time. I'm hoping we make it in the show.

Also, today I made a yo-yo fabric pin. I love doing things that I want amidst a busy, but productive day. It was so successful that I was able to go to class, meet with someone about the Enneagram (I'm a 4 with a 5 wing), walk 2.75 miles in my aerobic walking class, complete a photo shoot for a project, make progress on my printmaking project, and then relax until dinner. Today was indeed a great day.

Happy St. Valentine's Day

Just working the front desk. Lovin Life.

Welcome to Paraguay

For the month of January, I was blessed with the opportunity to duck a harsh Indiana winter and escape to Paraguay in South America. The semester before we left, our team had a weekly class meeting where we were able to spend time preparing and getting to know each other. We also sent out support letters to raise the finds for our trip. God was so faithful in this area of our trip, we left on Jan. 5th, still in need of funding, but when we returned on Jan. 27th, we had surpassed our financial goals! Upon returning, I sent out letters to people who had sent in money, explaining more about what we did on our trip, and here is an excerpt from that letter:

This past January was incredibly challenging, but also an incredibly rewarding experience and it would not have been possible without your financial support, but more importantly your prayers throughout the month. My team and I spent three weeks living with the Aché, a tribe of indigenous people in Paraguay. While we were there, we lived in their community schoolhouse, held a Vacation Bible School, built them a community kitchen, and also held evening services where we would sing and share our personal testimonies. The Aché live very primitively because their tribes lived in the jungle until about 30 years ago when they began settling in more permanent communities. There are six Aché communities throughout Paraguay and we spent the majority of our time in Koentuwy.

Our host missionary, Victor Gomez, and his family opened up their home to us for a few days before we traveled into Koentuwy. While we were there, we spent our time resting after traveling and preparing further for our ministry of Vacation Bible School and evening services. We were also able to see the Iguaçu Falls in Brazil, one of the seven wonders of the natural world. We also had the chance to attend church at a nearby Aché community, Puerto Barra, which was a great transition and encouragement before we loaded up our mini-bus and began the six hours drive into the jungle to live with the Aché for two weeks. Victor had referred to his house as a “little piece of heaven,” and I’m not sure I realized how much of a blessing this was until we arrived at our final destination. Koentuwy had a few things waiting for me that I was not expecting. First of all, it was about 100 degrees Fahrenheit each day we were in Paraguay, so staying hydrated was a little challenging, also on our first night, I was attacked by what I thought was a small bird, but just ended up being a massive bug. Adjusting to the rough conditions was a challenge, but the people we interacted with definitely made up for the heat and bugs.

My favorite thing from the trip though was the kids, especially their welcome for us as we arrived in the community. I had barely stepped off the bus when I was overwhelmed with hugs by a crowd of beautiful Aché children. Throughout my month in Paraguay, I was continually impressed by the Aché’s love for us even though they had just met us. We could not talk to them without a translator, so we communicated primarily with hand gestures and we were only able to show our love through our smiles and hugs.

God work in my heart during January, and I experienced a lot of growth. One of the many things God taught me while I was in Paraguay was about the beauty of the Body of Christ. The church services we attended had a minimum of three languages, and it was incredible to witness the passion of the Aché as they worshiped the Lord. It was a great testament to how all of God’s children can come together to serve and worship him despite differences in ethnicity, social class, and language. I loved seeing God’s people come together on our team and in the community. Although each family in the Aché community lives separately in their own homes, it was awesome to see the entire community function as a large family, sharing everything they had, down to a small granola bar we would give them. If I handed one child any sort of food, they would break it up into small pieces and make sure all their friends got some of it, quite a contrast from the States. It was a huge blessing to witness this and be a part of this family and community for a couple weeks.

Even though I have come home, Victor and his family will continue to serve the Aché in Paraguay. Continue to pray for them, that God would give Victor and his family wisdom to continue their ministry, and that the Aché would continue to seek Christ and He would keep providing for them. The Aché make their living primarily though farming, and some hunting, but even so, their harvest only lasts them about four months of the year, and many of the children are malnourished because of this. Pray that God would continue to provide for them and that they would trust God with their future needs.

Live, LICE, Love

I'm 22 and I have lice. I got lice because I went to Paraguay and spent 3 weeks loving children who were infested with lice. I didn't try to get lice, in fact I tried really hard to avoid it while I was there, wearing bandanas and anything else that would cover my head to keep those little itchy bugs away. Now I've been home for a week and a half, and the lice is hatching, and I'm not the only one who is itching like crazy. I know of about 15 people that have it, and people are freaking out about it.

I'm not sad I have lice, I'm sad about the way people around me are reacting to this little bug on my head. I'm not a leper, but why do I have to be treated like one? I'm supposed to be living in this great Christian community at Taylor University, so what's up with that? It's sad the way people are flawed, and I know I am too, but when I can see the brokenness and sin in this world, it really breaks my heart. I think a lot of this 'sensitivity' I have is from Paraguay and a lot of what I learned there was about simplicity and the beauty of the Body of Christ. And it's a hard adjustment to see the raw and simple and beautiful Body of Christ, and live in that love, and then come back to the States, and be in a whole new culture and world where there are completely different perspectives. It's a hard adjustment, and having lice is not helping.

HELP!

The first week of my last semester in college is already over. I know the rest of the semester is going to fly by even faster, and I am not ready to face the real wold and graduate. I have loved being in college, and I don't want to leave yet. Help, I am troubled... Also, since this is probably my last chance at having an abundance of free time, here's a blog to mark the occasion.